Let me start be saying I am a voracious reader. It's something I just love to do and I believe in taking the time to do things that you really enjoy (even if you are a wife, mother, executive of an erotic fiction company or all three). You will often find my Kindle and various other reading materials scattered about...in the car, the kitchen, the bedroom, the bathroom (like you don't!), my purse, etc. Now when I say I am an avid reader that does not mean I read things that are going to better the world or teach me something, I am just as passionate about reading People magazine as I am about reading the latest book club selection (who am I kidding, I like People the most). If it interests me I will read it...from chick lit to Cosmo to historical fiction to parenting know-how. I especially love books that come from a simple idea that makes me smack myself in the head and say, "why didn't I think of that?!?". Case in point..."Sh*t My Dad Says", by Justin Halpern. This guy has parleyed something so nonsensical into an empire. Which brings me to my (long, wordy and indirect) point. Sh*t My Kids Say and Sh*t I Never Thought I'd Say in a Million, Gazillion Years. Someone already has a book coming out in November with the former as it's title but a Google search on Sh*t I'd Never Thought I'd Say in a Million, Gazillion Years came up empty (only because I added "a Million, Gazillion Years"...aaaaand if you don't find it on Google, that's some sh*t that must not exist.).
Things are getting more and more interesting around the Martini house. Thing 1 is 10, Thing 2 is 8 and The Princess has turned 5. Sometimes the things that come out of their mouths are just precious, but more often they alternately leave me wondering if I forgot about dropping them on their heads once or twice as babies and just plain being horrified. Here is an example of this weeks gems...
From Thing 1 (while having a discussion about how three different dog breeds are combined to create a French Bulldog)..."Mom, how do three things have a...(long pause)...moment?".
From Thing 2..."Mom, does Diet Coke taste like Root Beer?"..."No, Diet Coke tastes like Diet Coke."...Does Cherry Coke taste like Diet Coke?"..."No, Diet Coke tastes like Diet Coke, root beer tastes like root beer and Cherry Coke tastes like Cherry Coke, they are three different kinds of pop (or soda, depending on where you are reading this)."..."Ooooohhhh, I forgot.". Truth be told, I'm a smidge worried about how often he forgets.
From The Princess (after I had an awkward conversation with her camp teacher)..."Princess, what are you not going to talk about in camp anymore?"..."Chainsaws", said the Princess slowly in a low, disappointed voice.
Seriously, I couldn't make this sh*t up if I tried. It certainly helps with the boredom that starts creeping into mothering about August O'clock every summer. I think I will just roll my eyes, shake my head, have a good (inappropriate) laugh and thank my lucky stars school starts in two weeks.
Thanks for the chuckle. The princess and the chainsaw had me laughing out loud. And, you can you please let the kid taste your Diet Coke?
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