Tonight we continue our journey (the most overused word on TV ever!) with Emily in Croatia. Which is, in case you haven't heard it before, THE MOST PERFECT place into fall in love.
Good 'ole boy Travis gets the 1-on-1 and begins his first (oh so boring!) date with Emily. There is a rock, his shirt should have come off, she's annoyed...to be honest I kind of zoned out at this part. I was having trouble staying awake. Clearly, Travis is headed to the "friend" zone, confirmed by Emily and sealed with a hug and a pat on the back. I feel really bad for the guy. He hasn't had a date in TWO YEARS! That dude has got to be pent up like he's been in prison and he walks away with a hug and umbrella. And I'm pretty sure he did NOT like that umbrella 'cuz he threw that sh## on the ground and cried like a baby, in the rain. Wah wah wah.
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| Need I remind you Travis was the egg guy?!? |
There was a great moment during the date when we were allowed a glimpse into the other "men" talking (like girls) back at the hotel and WHAM...I had to stop/pause/freeze in my Tivo tracks. Ryan's awesome white tank top...and by that I mean he borrowed it from his teenage sister.
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| Please give this back to the tween you swiped it from. Your confidence can only take you so far dude. |
On the group date,
the boys went to see the movie Brave.
Bless their little hearts, all of them said it was awesome and an
ah-mazing analogy for their journey (there's that freakin' word again!) with
Emily. That's right...a group of GROWN
ASS MEN said they liked a cartoon to get in Emily's good graces (ie.
pants). Fast forward to men in skirts
and knee socks in The Highland Games!
There is ass riding (am I gonna get in trouble for the picture on my
computer titled the same???), tree throwing and some bows 'n arrows.
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| It's hard to not look like an ass when you are riding one. |
Summary...Sean was HOT (says Emily, again.)! Arie acted like a girl (act surprised). Chris was HORRIBLE at EVERYTHING and had a
whiny excuse for ALL of it...if he only had time to practice...like no one
else had a chance to...'cuz they don't have Highland Games in Chicago. Dude, you are making it IMPOSSIBLE for me to
root for the home team! I did come up
with a way to pass the time...DRINKING GAME!
Every time Jef says "like", like, take a like, chug a lug of
your like, cocktail like, OK? PS. Did you know he thinks his connection with
Emily is like, unlike any other??? And by that I mean unlike any other...other
than the connection they ALL think they have with Emily. Oh, either Arie or Jef (that's how little I
care) thinks they are in love and could ask her to marry him tomorrow! It's like, CRAZY! Because it IS! Crazy!
That you are in love with this dull, humorless woman. Sorry Em.
Tru dat.
1-on-1 with Ryan...the world most arrogant man in search of
a trophy wife (hey, that would make ANOTHER great drinking game!). Apparently, Ryan takes 3 hours to get ready...in
a t-shirt and track pants. He also has a
list of 12 qualities he wants in his (trophy) wife...because THAT'S not weird
at all. Most of them are superficial
qualities...because THAT'S not what you'd expect from a guy who wakes up EVERY
day, looks in the mirror and tells himself what an amazing man he is. My very favorite moment of this date? Watching Ryan walk away in his ridiculous
BLUE.SUEDE.SHOES!!!
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| These need to be filed in the trash next to the many man scarves of Ryan. |
Rose ceremony!
Remember, Arie has a secret, pretend, invisible rose from the night
before when he snuck over to Emily's room to take advantage (I mean to make
sure she's all right) of her after saying Buh Bye to Ryan. Doug and Wolf are on the bubble (insert gasp
here). "Humble" Doug and his
"I'm just a guy" make me want to stick a hot poker in my eye. He has drifted WAY into the hug zone with his
wah wah wah attitude...do any of you want to just see this one put out of his
misery??? Were any of you fooled by
tricky dick Emily and her rose switcheroo???
So they both stay and we can drag out the suspense a little longer...in
Prague! Until then!
First of all, I now have talked my husband and sons into watching with me. We all mock together. My 14 year old says how much he hates the show but can't stop watching!! LOl!Ryan's tank top looked like a retro 1950s bathing suit! Can Jeff just go like home?! I hated Arie going to visit her, too. Doug just needs to man up. He's too nice. Until Prague...another great place to fall in love.
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