Stooooooooop Saying Stoooooooop Already or Is Epic the New Journey?

As we head into Week 2 the first thing that strikes me is this...in a ginormous, beautiful LA mansion do they really not have enough rooms that they have to stack these guys up in bunk beds, dorm style at least 6 to a room?  I know for certain when it is a room full of women the closeness adds to the cray cray but in my experience, a lot of men in one room only leads to stink.  Not drama, just stinky boy room ickiness. 

Eric (the super cutie patootie who has tragically died since being on the show) got the first one on one date.  Aaaaaaand cue the first helicopter!  Aaaaaaand cue the classic dramatic soaring music to accompany the helicopter ride!  I love not ever being surprised by this franchise.  They play at the beach and head to the mountains to ski...in the same day...sand and snow...IT WAS EPIC!  Or so they said, a lot.  I am afraid that epic is the new journey.  You know what else Andi said a lot...and by a lot I mean I think I counted it 2,467 times???  Stooooooop.  You have been on a helicopter before?  Stooooooop.  You had a harrowing experience in Syria (amazing story BTW)?  Stoooooooop.  You are a way better snowboarder that I ever will be?  Stoooooop.  Please Andi, I beg of you, get a new "thing"!  Or at least mix it up with a "shut up!" or a "No way!" or a classic "OMG!".  Aaaaaaaanything to make it stoooooooop! 
This date was quite sweet and your heart breaks knowing what an amazing guy Eric is and that he is no longer chasing adventure on this earth.  Really, really sad. 

Group date shenanigans ensue.  Craig is the leader of the whole crazy pack, throwing out an "I love her!" in his interview.  Slow your roll dude, it's only been 10 minutes.

Even though Andi was so uncomfortable with her nude photo shoot during JPG's season that she almost didn't do it, she decided that everyone else should have to feel the overwhelming sense of dread at performing (read stripping) LIVE...'cuz it's for charity yo!  So they did...with spray tan...and baby oil...and marble bags (not my words but I'm keeping them in the bank for later!).  It was delightful and incredibly uncomfortable all at the same time. 

Later there was a cocktail party and Craig got loaded.  And by loaded I mean OFF HIS ARSE stinkin' makin' no sense swimming in his clothes hammered.  Watching him was like watching a really bad, drunk Tommy Boy imitation.  He asked Andi what the worst thing about her parents is.  Which made me think he might still live in his parents basement and was gonna reply with something like "I know, mine NEVER let me have girls over in my room!".  It was sad and kinda awesome.

Chris the Farmer gets the next one on one.  He has declared Andi "The Most Amazing Woman on the Planet!" but I am guessing his frame of reference is limited in that he is a farmer from Iowa.  So they get all dressed up and Chris says, "I feel like I'm in Pretty Woman right now!"...like you feel like a hooker that wins her man?!?!  Aaaaaand cue the first private concert.  Dancing and kissing ensue and if this doesn't work out I know exactly where to send Chris.

At the Rose Ceremony cocktail party Craig tries to redeem himself by horribly singing a really bad song he made up himself.  It is hard to watch and you already know where he is headed...the bad songwriting is on the wall.

Andi sends Carl (who looked like he was about to puke the whole rose ceremony) the only ACTUAL hot fireman (not the stripper pretend ones) home (WHAT?!?) and Nick S. who I think is a very short, professional golfer with bad facial hair (sorta like this)

and Craig (SHOCKER!  Not!) because she just couldn't get past his frat boy ways.  Awwwww sorry not sorry. 

Until next time...I will watch so you don't have to!