In episode 3 of the Bachelor Juan P goes on more boring dates and sweet talks EVERY one. I don't think there is a front runner in the bunch! Yawn. Boring. Sooooooo to spice things up the press went ape poop over an interview JP did that turned out badly...so so badly. When asked if he thought that ABC should have a gay or bisexual Bachelor, things went downhill...like arrriba arriba down hill. He did mention he has many gay friends but is not so comfortable with the idea of two men living together raising children. This is his opinion regardless of whether you like it. Perhaps had he stopped here we would never have heard of the interview. Buuuuuuuut he used the unfortunate word pervert to describe men together. I am going to play devils advocate here and say I believe that he used that word in particular because English is his second language and not because he thinks the LGBT community is filled with perverts. In his apology he said he meant racy...I think that's what he meant. Have you seen Queer as Folk? Have you seen Will and Grace? There is a reason one is on cable. I do not think that the ABC audience is ready for full on gay or bi men dating. The required hot tub scenes would put many a housewife or dare I say husband (we know you watch too!) over the edge. I realize my view may be unpopular but as I WAS an avid watcher of Queer as Folk I am comfortable with where I stand. Feel free to let me know your thoughts!
Moving forward...Cassandra, single mother and former cheerleader got a Juan on One date. He is going to fast track his single mothers so they can get back to mothering...so sweet. Cassie is 21, has a 2 year old and hasn't been on a first date in 3 years...I suck at math but that adds up to...hmmmm...interesting. Then she said she hadn't been on a first date in 3 years...and then she said it again...and then she said it again...she also said she hadn't felt this way about a man in 3 years (which is good to hear because a few dates after the first they had a baby.). Me thinks she ought to kiss a few more frogs before she settles for her new baby daddy.
Group Date!!! Soccer or shall we say futbol! And then a cocktail party (of course!). Nikki was denied a kiss and just when I thought he had put her in the friend zone he gives her the rose! I did not see that coming but am delighted. Team Nikki!!! There was a very romantic make out session with Andi (who doesn't like to read) in the snack bar...who says romance is dead. Followed by Andi's shock and dismay to see him making out 10 minutes later with Awkward Sharleen. Now I think everything Sharleen does is super awkward but that kiss...ugh...the tongue...the shhh shhh shhh, now I kiss you. Barf. She also keeps referring to the word Mondo that he uses for her and says means worldly...she thinks it's beautiful and makes her feel wonderful but when I looked it up, Mondo, in Spanish (the primary language of Venezuela), means bare, picked clean, plain and simple...as in they picked the chicken clean. I do not know why that makes me as happy as it does.
Back at the mansion, Elise and Chelsea wait to see who gets the next one on one and Elise starts a Chelsea bashing that continues while (surprise!) Chelsea gets the date. Elise is certain baby Chelsea, who is a little girl and a baby and not ready for motherhood and who is JUST THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN HER does not belong with JP.
One on One with Chelsea is a big snooze while we wait for her to jump from a bungee platform for about 17 hours! In my head I pushed her like 17 times! Juan P alternates between telling her to "do it for me" and "don't do it, I won't be mad" sending a wonderfully mixed message that is a metaphor for all new relationships...no wait, the trusting each other to just jump was the painful metaphor. After hanging upside down and making out...duh...what else to do...they have dinner and a private concert! Just in case you are counting, that's 2...in 3 episodes.
Pool party the next day takes the place of a cocktail party. Which is awesome because where there are 15 girls in bikinis there is cattiness aplenty! My favorite bitchy comment came from Kelly (yes, the dog still bothers me but she is growing on me) says of Kat (whose crotch was too close to JP's head for a little too long for her liking...chicken fights!), "There are 14 other girls here and you are a whore." I may be switching to Team Kelly. Inexplicable tears count...2...Sharleen cried to Juan P. and Clare locked herself in the bathroom and cried and everyone got roses. Except for Lucy (shocker) and Kristi...ummmm who is she? Has she been on the show the whole time?!?!?
Until next time...
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